A little while ago I got a chance to tag along with a bunch of awesome people and float in a canoe overnight on the Colorado river for 17 miles. All of this was done under the Super Moon which supposedly was the closest to Earth in 25 years and looked fabulous indeed. We were about 50 people, everyones canoes decked out in blinking lights, candles and incense. Some people were wearing costumes. I guess it was somewhat of a rave meets nature experience and since we were in a nature preserve we agreed to act like awesome guests do - respectfully. It was a leave no trace event which means everyone was conscious to not bother the Mother and not leave anything behind.
I have always believed that everything has a spirit but I never felt that of the sea or a river for example. The spirit of the river made itself heard loud and clear that night. I learned some of the most powerful lessons in a while.
At one point we had 16 canoes connected to each other side by side so it looked like a floating LED island in the middle of stunning red rock formations (the river is surrounded by Arizona on one side and Nevada on the other). It was all fun until we were about to hit a buoy. Everyone quickly detached their canoes cause it would have been dangerous and maybe even lethal to hit it with such a large body and with the flow of the river so powerful.
Oh panic! Everyone was freaking out so I was observing all of it and realized how useless worry and panic are. Even in the most dangerous of situations it's important to keep calm (and bubblegoth on) - it might actually save your life. I used to freak out a lot. About everything. But it's something that I've been watching and working through and I think I am closer and closer to mastering it. Worry doesn't benefit us in any way. It's a complete waste of energy. Worrying is like being on a treadmill - sweating and sweating but in an hour you have not moved an inch. If anything, you wasted precious energy that you could have used to calmly find solutions. I think it's important to study the nature of worry and not be a slave to it.
Left with just 2 canoes we were listening to the wild donkeys sing and watched baby bats flutter over our heads. The sounds and smells were amazing. The flow of the river was calm but strong. It was us, 4 people, with one of our friends being an utter control freak. She was stressing out and wanted to keep following other canoes. I didn't understand why we would be trying to follow other people when there was only one river and anywhere we were, we would simply all end up in the same place. This is when I realized a very important truth - our life is like the river and the other people are just fellow passengers trying to make sense of it all just like you and me. Nobody has the answers. Nobody but you knows your truth so whatever it is that makes you happy - go for it. Surrender to the flow of the (river) life and live your truth. I realized the leaders are the leaders simply because they believe in their truth so strongly it convinces others as well.
It was also interesting to be stuck with someone from whom I am so different. I was having the ultimate zen moment and my friend wanted to keep paddling. Paddling! Making clunky metal sounds drowning out the sounds of the nature preserve. She was mad I wasn't paddling too while to me it seemed absurd to to anything while the river was carrying me anyway. Here's where I learned another interesting lesson - life is in a constant flow. With all this planning and false belief that we have any real control we're just missing out on all the amazing stuff. Surrender! Surrender all control. There's a bigger plan in action so get in and become a part of the flow. Stop building dams and over thinking it. Just BE.
I cry a lot. Equally because of happiness and sadness. I have at least 5 different personalities. Crowds make me anxious unless I'm on stage.
I hear colors, I see sound
I believe in fairies.
I change my mind in every five minutes.
If I can't write music for more than a couple of days, I loose it.
I make things.
I almost never feel like I belong. I am very uncomfortable having a human experience.
I like bad movies.
I am extremely ambitious.
I'm a foodie.
I love everything that sparkles.
I grew up in the middle of a forest in Estonia
I believe that love is the most powerful weapon. Not because I'm naive. But because I already tried fighting with everything else and it didn't work.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
Kerli is my real name.
I love one word song titles.
I believe everything happens for a reason. But that everything that happens around us is a reflection of who we are or what we need to learn.
The inside of my suitcase makes the security guards blush.
I try to live from a place of strength, not victimhood.
The most important thing I own is my laptop. If there was a fire and I had to choose between my laptop and my cat, I'd save my laptop. My music = my life is in there.
My second album is gonna be the shit. I promise.
Sounds Like: something I don't feel like putting in a box